The One About 2012 Sucking So Far

2012, why are you sucking so badly, and only 2 months in for that matter?

My sister has gone crazy, quite literally. I don't know who she is anymore, and my mother even says she might have a mental illness. Surely it started happening in 2011, but it has fully come to head in the last two months. And now she is getting a divorce and tearing a family apart. It's more than just her own immediate family, too, because her husband's brother is my mother's husband, so it's a hot mess. That's right, my mom and sister are married to two brothers. Well, not for much longer. She is also tearing apart our relationship - I have now not spoke to her in over two weeks, including seeing her in person last Saturday and hardly even making eye contact for the few hours we were forced to share the same space with each other. I just don't understand what she is going through. And she is asking for support and understanding, neither of which I can give her.

My brother, at 29 years old, has been recently diagnosed wit COPD. Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. Surely it was brought on by him smoking, but it still sucks and to be that young with such a chronic health issue is awful. Stop smoking brother, I love you too much to lose you young!!

Let's see, what else sucks? Well, those are the biggest for now. My personal life has not changed, everything is great with Nate and so-so with everything else. But those two things have been eating at me like crazy for the last few weeks.

Oh, I thought of something that sort of sucks for me. I have been having crazy dreams every night since I started the anxiety meds. I tried to read up on it, but it seemed like it was a pretty common thing that should probably go away in a few months. It's now been 4 months since I started the meds and the dreams are still happening, several each night. They aren't bad dreams, thankfully, but they are very weird and vivid and oftentimes when I wake up they dissipate. I can only remember them later in the day when something reminds me of them. Fucking weird!

Today is my last day at my current temp job. I have been working here since the end of December, for only 3 hours a day, but I like the people here. I will miss them - maybe someday I can come back full time in this department - I would love that!