The One About Grandparents

I am 27 years old and currently have no living grandparents.

My maternal grandfather died before I was born. My paternal grandparents both died when I was between the ages of 10 and 16. My maternal grandmother just died in 2009 at 90 years old, which is an amazing feat, in my opinion.

Growing up, I never had that relationship that most people have with their grandparents with any of my grandparents. My dad's parents were difficult. Grampa was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in his 50s, so all I ever knew of him was when he was sick. All I can remember about him is that he used to shake a lot, then he had a hard time speaking, then he was bed-ridden. Grammy was always so busy taking care of him that she was hard to visit. Plus her house smelled bad because she was really too old and incapable of doing everything she tried to do. And she gave the worst gifts. There is that saying about not speaking ill of the dead, but these things are true. A hideous, too-small, green and white striped chenille sweater for my birthday in June?! Yuck.

I always wished I had a special relationship with at least one grandparent. The closest I came to that with my own grandparents was with my Nana, my mom's mother. She was the sweetest little French-Canadian lady! I can remember she and my mother used to speak French to each other when they wanted to talk privately around us. We even learned a few French phrases (for "it's beautiful out" and "it's dark out"), which I later found out were very slaughtered from what the real phrase sounded like. She used to make us stuff all the time, lots of crocheted, knitted, or cross-stitched items, always in green for my brother, pink for my sister, and purple for my cousin and me. I even have an afghan that she crocheted for me by which to remember her. But she lived in Florida for half the year when I was younger, then as I got older she started staying in Florida year-round so we would only get to see her for a week or two each year. She became increasingly difficult to talk to because she was hard of hearing, and I never knew what to talk about with her. I have always had that problem with phone conversations. But I can remember the dreaded, "Do you want to talk to Nicolle?" question from my mom when they were on the phone together. I never wanted to talk to her because it was awkward and I didn't know what to say. It's awful, I know. Because she is gone now, and all I have left are precious memories of my Nana, and her knitting needles.

My husband is one of the luckiest people I know in the grandparents department. Sure, most people are fortunate enough to have both sets of grandparents growing up. But Nate was raised by his mother, no father. Yet he still has two sets of awesome grandparents! His mom's parents split up before he was born and then they both re-married, so he still got to have a great group of grandparents. And over the last almost-seven years, I have gotten to know them very well and I cherish them like they are my own! I adore both of his grandmothers, Shirley and Maxine. I have come to be very close with both of them, we have great conversations and they are both very liberal and open-minded so I feel like I can talk to them about nearly anything. And they both come with their individual positive qualities.

I guess what I am really trying to get across is that I love my in-law family. I know a lot of people aren't fortunate enough to say the same. I count my blessings every day and never take anything for granted. But I do miss my own grandparents a lot, especially my Nana.